The Danger of Believing Nice
(Originally Posted on 09-19-2010)
I believe in nice. I believe in nice people. I believe, unless I know otherwise, that every one is nice. This is a dangerous way to live.
Before I know it, one of these nice people comes to a point on her or his agenda where it becomes necessary to play me, and I do not mean as a team player. In order for them to maintain or protect themselves, they have to use other people and I am easy to use. I don’t see it coming and BAM! I end up off my feet and feeling very foolish or hurt or both.
Yea, I know. Y’all are out there saying I should easily see this coming and I should not be so naive. I agree. But it goes against my nature to start a casual relationship with a list of suspicions to check off. I married a very smart lady who takes care of all of that. Problem is, she is not always around and I am not always willing to pay attention to her intuitions.
So, instead I continue to dive into things, begin projects, take on responsibilities, and agree to help without first checking the character of the people I will be involved with.
Thankfully, most of the time, my way of believing nice actually pays off because I am mostly correct.
The rest of the time is marked with rude awakenings. People I work for, work with, or have some other connection with do fail to fulfill what they say they are. It is especially tough when it happens after a whole lot of loyal service has been paid. Suddenly, someone who “has my back” uses that to protect or promote themselves at my expense. The longer the period of trust, the greater the loss of trust and the greater the adjustment.
Now here is the twist…my art creativity and production is always better during these periods of adjustment. I find my time painting to be very therapeutic as I mull, stew, rethink, second guess and create long involved “I shoulda” scenarios with full conversations. Perhaps the burst of creativity is called forth by this drive to establish a mental picture of the way I which I had behaved or hope to behave the “next time”.
Ideas become concepts and concepts start paintings and eventually become whatever they are intended to be. The flow is smoother and more creative. My paintings do not actually contain revenge images, they are very much peaceful world images – for the most part.
I even learn a little bit of wisdom as I say to myself that “I’ll not let that happen to me again.” Well, that is true only so far as the principals involved. They will never gain that advantage over me again. I’m no martyr, but, I’m sure there will be another “nice” person I’ll meet down the road and start the process all over again. I have a stronger desire to start out believing nice than to be guarded and suspicious of another’s word.
I believe in nice. I believe in nice people. I believe, unless I know otherwise, that every one is nice. This is a dangerous way to live.
Before I know it, one of these nice people comes to a point on her or his agenda where it becomes necessary to play me, and I do not mean as a team player. In order for them to maintain or protect themselves, they have to use other people and I am easy to use. I don’t see it coming and BAM! I end up off my feet and feeling very foolish or hurt or both.
Yea, I know. Y’all are out there saying I should easily see this coming and I should not be so naive. I agree. But it goes against my nature to start a casual relationship with a list of suspicions to check off. I married a very smart lady who takes care of all of that. Problem is, she is not always around and I am not always willing to pay attention to her intuitions.
So, instead I continue to dive into things, begin projects, take on responsibilities, and agree to help without first checking the character of the people I will be involved with.
Thankfully, most of the time, my way of believing nice actually pays off because I am mostly correct.
The rest of the time is marked with rude awakenings. People I work for, work with, or have some other connection with do fail to fulfill what they say they are. It is especially tough when it happens after a whole lot of loyal service has been paid. Suddenly, someone who “has my back” uses that to protect or promote themselves at my expense. The longer the period of trust, the greater the loss of trust and the greater the adjustment.
Now here is the twist…my art creativity and production is always better during these periods of adjustment. I find my time painting to be very therapeutic as I mull, stew, rethink, second guess and create long involved “I shoulda” scenarios with full conversations. Perhaps the burst of creativity is called forth by this drive to establish a mental picture of the way I which I had behaved or hope to behave the “next time”.
Ideas become concepts and concepts start paintings and eventually become whatever they are intended to be. The flow is smoother and more creative. My paintings do not actually contain revenge images, they are very much peaceful world images – for the most part.
I even learn a little bit of wisdom as I say to myself that “I’ll not let that happen to me again.” Well, that is true only so far as the principals involved. They will never gain that advantage over me again. I’m no martyr, but, I’m sure there will be another “nice” person I’ll meet down the road and start the process all over again. I have a stronger desire to start out believing nice than to be guarded and suspicious of another’s word.
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