All Those D Words
I am in a desperate place right now. In fact if I knew that this blog had a large following I would probably not be writing this particular post. But there are times, and this is one of them, that I become burdened to at least write a post and decide when it is done if I will publish it or not. You can imagine that I have a good collection of draft posts.
That is the way it is.
So what is the source of my desperation? It is another D word. Depression. Yes that word and not the kind of depression that is a normal part of our lives from time to time. This is Massive Depressive Disorder and it's cousin General Anxiety Disorder. This is the kind that is very difficult to deal with and to get away from. I am rarely able to duck and defend myself when it come down on me. But I am determined that by the grace of God and with His might it will not defeat me. I may feel defeated right now but I am not. My true condition is that I stand victorious in Christ and I will be thankful. My victory over this comes through Christ Jesus and it is His Spirit that empowers me so I will praise the Lord and not forget all His benefits.
Recently I have been declaring in my thoughts and to others how much I have been blessed because of the many promises in God's Word. One friend, when she heard me say this told me she was going to get for me a book of 365 promises. That would be very good but I am convinced there are many more than than tucked into God's word. And, I know the promises are true and real.
But that is somewhat why I am desperate about this bout with depression. I know I will have it with me until God lifts it off. Until then I must exercise my faith and hold unswervingly to the hope I profess because He who promises is faithful.
This is not easy, but it is possible because I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength to do it. If he calls me to a task, he provides the grace I need to do that task. If the task is fighting temptations, I confess and know that God has provided a way of escape so that I can endure it. What I am experiencing right now is not a new thing - this is something that is common to those who believe and to those who do not believe. The believers have the advantage of divine help. Thanks be to God, I believe and therefore I know that I will not always be in a desperate place and that God will deliver me from it.
At times I think how this is a training ground for me. I am being trained for what is coming in this world. It is a time when as a Christian, I will be called to stand for my faith and it may cost me something. This world is gearing up for a time when Christians will be singled out and outcast. This too will not be anything new in the history of mankind. I am thankful that God is sovereign over all things and nothing happens that He does not know about. Therefore I will consider it all joy that this testing of my faith has come upon me and I will do my best with the grace of God to allow it to perfect my endurance. Who knows when I will really need it.
So, if you are reading this - I guess I published it after all. I am going to delight myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires I heart should have. Amen.
That is the way it is.
So what is the source of my desperation? It is another D word. Depression. Yes that word and not the kind of depression that is a normal part of our lives from time to time. This is Massive Depressive Disorder and it's cousin General Anxiety Disorder. This is the kind that is very difficult to deal with and to get away from. I am rarely able to duck and defend myself when it come down on me. But I am determined that by the grace of God and with His might it will not defeat me. I may feel defeated right now but I am not. My true condition is that I stand victorious in Christ and I will be thankful. My victory over this comes through Christ Jesus and it is His Spirit that empowers me so I will praise the Lord and not forget all His benefits.
Recently I have been declaring in my thoughts and to others how much I have been blessed because of the many promises in God's Word. One friend, when she heard me say this told me she was going to get for me a book of 365 promises. That would be very good but I am convinced there are many more than than tucked into God's word. And, I know the promises are true and real.
But that is somewhat why I am desperate about this bout with depression. I know I will have it with me until God lifts it off. Until then I must exercise my faith and hold unswervingly to the hope I profess because He who promises is faithful.
This is not easy, but it is possible because I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength to do it. If he calls me to a task, he provides the grace I need to do that task. If the task is fighting temptations, I confess and know that God has provided a way of escape so that I can endure it. What I am experiencing right now is not a new thing - this is something that is common to those who believe and to those who do not believe. The believers have the advantage of divine help. Thanks be to God, I believe and therefore I know that I will not always be in a desperate place and that God will deliver me from it.
At times I think how this is a training ground for me. I am being trained for what is coming in this world. It is a time when as a Christian, I will be called to stand for my faith and it may cost me something. This world is gearing up for a time when Christians will be singled out and outcast. This too will not be anything new in the history of mankind. I am thankful that God is sovereign over all things and nothing happens that He does not know about. Therefore I will consider it all joy that this testing of my faith has come upon me and I will do my best with the grace of God to allow it to perfect my endurance. Who knows when I will really need it.
So, if you are reading this - I guess I published it after all. I am going to delight myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires I heart should have. Amen.
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